Take a "Q" from old sitcoms
Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best may seem silly to us now, but notice how nicely the wife dressed. I am not suggesting you dress up to vacuum, but your appearance is important in other areas of your relationship. Throw out those sloppy, stained sweatpants and sweatshirts.
Learn to forgive
Holding onto grudges and grievances has no place in a marriage. You must be willing to accept apologies.
Ask for forgiveness
Not only is it important to forgive, you must also be willing to accept responsibility for your shortcomings, to say the words, I'm sorry, and to seek forgiveness when necessary.
Be there for him
Don't get so wrapped up in your work, children etc that you miss opportunities to be a strength and support for your husband when he needs it. This may require that you lighten your load If you belong to so many clubs, organizations or other activities that you are consistently tired and irritable. It may be time to give something up.
Love his family
For some, this one may seem impossible. I've seen many relationships end because one of the parties didn't like, couldn't tolerate, or continually fought with their partner's family. You may not like his family, but do your best to be considerate of his feelings and show them respect.
Take care of yourself
Your health is important. Don't miss mammogram or gynecologic appointments. Have annual physical exams and do self-breast exams. Don't ignore warning signs for possible health issues.
Enjoy family mealtime together
This is a good time to talk about your day, listen to your family and enjoy one another's company. A quick meal in front of the TV is all right on occasion as long as you take time to sit down together as a family.
Laugh
Learn to laugh at yourself. Don't take yourself so seriously. Laughing is a release and can lighten your mood. It can break the tension in a stressful situation. Be careful not to laugh at your partner-laugh with him.
Spend one-on-one time with each other
It is important to spend time alone with each other. Light the candles and have a quiet dinner together, or dance, or walk hand in hand down a sandy beach or along a country lane.
Share in decision making
Neither party should purchase large or high priced items without first consulting the other. You need to be united in decisions regarding your children, money and plans for the future.
Encourage each other
Don't put each other down. Lift each other up. Use encouraging words in your conversations.
Respect each other
Respect his job, his family, his likes and dislikes. Respect his sports equipment or anything that is sacred to him. My husband loves music. He has guitars, mandolins, a harmonica, a banjo and all kinds of equipment to go with it. I used to quip, "You can put down his wife, just don't put down his music." He is very particular about his music instruments.
I am quite sure you could think of other steps or thoughts on making a marriage work. Some of these suggestions may not work for everyone. Every marriage is different, but every marriage requires mutual kindness, love, and respect. Marriage is not a mystery. It is a relationship, which requires nurturing. Now, go nurture yours.
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